The work we get to do is such a gift, often teaching me far more about the resilience of the human spirit than I give back with my empathy and my theory.
Case in point: I have been working with this strong, wise woman for several years now. She endured a trauma in her younger years that is, without any doubt, horrifically unimaginable to the majority of us folks. During session a few weeks back, we were reflecting on this younger, traumatized version of herself, and also the courageous path she has travelled to become who she is today, and she stated: “The woman I am today is the friend I needed back then.”
Pause for emphasis here.
“The woman I am today is the friend I needed back then.”
I was hit so squarely in the chest by this statement I teared up right there in session.
To fully understand why I found this statement so profound, you have to understand what often lies at the very heart of my approach to trauma work. We must return, not to the trauma, but to the younger parts of ourselves that were deeply injured, betrayed, rejected, abandoned and shamed. We have to locate those young parts in our bodies and psyches and shower them with love and with all our adult wisdoms of compassion, protection, and understanding of children’s powerlessness in the face unsafe adults . We remind these young parts how brave they were. And we let them know it wasn’t their fault. This is where the healing happens. This is where transformation happens. This is what she’s done.
Our vision statement at Expression Counselling is: “Transformational love of self and others.”
And this young woman is fully living this vision. Because the second reason why her statement so darn profound is that she has taken her trauma and now uses it to serve and support others. She tells her story loud and proud. She is real and vulnerable. She lets people know they aren’t alone. She sits with the broken and loves them until they can love themselves. She is the friend she needed back then.
This is how we transform. Not only ourselves, but the world.
I am reminded of one of my favorite quotes by Patton Oswalt: “So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think: The good outnumber you, and we always will.”
What a gift to do what we do.
As always, wishing you peace.
Christina
Disclaimer: This post is published with the direct consent of the above-mentioned client.
Her words: “I hope it
helps others too.”
