“To be human is to survive love and loss.”

August 3, 2023

“To be human is to survive love and loss.” – Francis Weller

This was one of the first lines in a book, “The Wild Edge of Sorrow” lent to me by a dear friend. In full transparency, I haven’t made it that far into this book, I closed it abruptly due to my own place of raw broken-heartedness after a collection of losses. And yet, this line has rattled around in my head over and over again: To be human is to survive love and loss. To be human is to survive love and loss. To be human is to survive love and loss.

How often do we fear opening ourselves to love for fear the pain of losing it? To what lengths will we go to avoid the shattering left in the wake of grief? What control do we attempt to possess over our own mortality and that of the ones we love? What do we hang onto so tightly, even knowing we must let go?

My own work these days is to move with the flow of life. To seek acceptance of life’s impermanence. To be in love with each moment, each small blessing, even in moments of grief. To open myself fully to both heartache and joy. This is what it means to be fully human, and to do it well.

Let us all, do this human thing together.

As always, much love. -Christina

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Your Self Love Revolution: Unpacking old messages for a kinder and more loving approach with self.

By Christina Henderson • August 4, 2023

Winter 2024 - details to come

Permission To Not...

By Christina Henderson • December 30, 2019

It’s been a long time since I sat down to write and as much as I’ve wrestled with this, this is why: I’ve had nothing. Okay, perhaps an overstatement as I’ve actually had plenty of thoughts, ideas and perspectives to share, but there are seasons where some things just don’t come easily. Sound familiar? Here’s the thing: I've given myself permission for that to be okay. This hasn’t been without struggle and frustration, riddled with “I should do more” or “pull it together” or “everyone else online has something to say, find something to say.” Although your version of this may sound different, perhaps you can relate to wanting to do something but for various reasons, not being able to. My reasons are varied and far exceed the purpose of this little post but let me share this: It is okay to NOT push yourself ALL THE TIME. It is okay to NOT white knuckle your way through to rigid expectations that really, are not always relevant. It is okay to have others step up. It is okay to redirect energy to things you can do at the time... and rock at that. It is okay to be flexible with yourself and goals you’ve developed. It is okay to strip back to the basics and keep things simple. It is okay to fall and rise in ways you didn’t expect. It is okay to do things differently from those around you. It is okay to NOT be on, all the time. As we step into a new year, when the talk of resolutions and goals are at a prime (both motivating and intimidating, I know) do something radical: give yourself permission to NOT do something. Step back from some thing on your to-do list. Honor the energy and capacity you have. Let that be okay. I dare you. Standing with you, Laurie

Transforming Trauma: Become the Friend You Needed

By Christina Henderson • October 16, 2019

The work we get to do is such a gift, often teaching me far more about the resilience of the human spirit than I give back with my empathy and my theory. Case in point: I have been working with this strong, wise woman for several years now. She endured a trauma in her younger years that is, without any doubt, horrifically unimaginable to the majority of us folks. During session a few weeks back, we were reflecting on this younger, traumatized version of herself, and also the courageous path she has travelled to become who she is today, and she stated: “The woman I am today is the friend I needed back then.” Pause for emphasis here. “The woman I am today is the friend I needed back then.” I was hit so squarely in the chest by this statement I teared up right there in session. To fully understand why I found this statement so profound, you have to understand what often lies at the very heart of my approach to trauma work. We must return, not to the trauma, but to the younger parts of ourselves that were deeply injured, betrayed, rejected, abandoned and shamed. We have to locate those young parts in our bodies and psyches and shower them with love and with all our adult wisdoms of compassion, protection, and understanding of children’s powerlessness in the face unsafe adults . We remind these young parts how brave they were. And we let them know it wasn’t their fault. This is where the healing happens. This is where transformation happens. This is what she’s done. Our vision statement at Expression Counselling is: “Transformational love of self and others.” And this young woman is fully living this vision. Because the second reason why her statement so darn profound is that she has taken her trauma and now uses it to serve and support others. She tells her story loud and proud. She is real and vulnerable. She lets people know they aren’t alone. She sits with the broken and loves them until they can love themselves. She is the friend she needed back then. This is how we transform. Not only ourselves, but the world. I am reminded of one of my favorite quotes by Patton Oswalt: “So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think: The good outnumber you, and we always will.” What a gift to do what we do. As always, wishing you peace. Christina Disclaimer: This post is published with the direct consent of the above-mentioned client. Her words: “I hope it helps others too.”